There once was a queen who lived in a magical kingdom.  She was married to a perfect king.  The king and queen always treated each other with respect, love and compassion.  There was no sorrow or pain in their world.  There were no desires because everything was in abundance.  Prosperity was a natural state.  Happiness and innocence permeated the air.

One morning, as the queen was taking a walk on the edge of the grounds, she noticed a beautiful golden deer nibbling some grass in the distance.  “There are many beautiful deer in our kingdom,” she thought, “but perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to have just one more.” She called the deer over and decided to bring him home with her.

The moment the deer stepped onto the royal grounds, the sky turned dark, and the golden sheen of the deer’s coat became gnarled and gray.  Her head began spinning and she suddenly realized that she was no longer at home on her grounds.  The deer had turned into a horrid monster with ten heads. Each head demanded something of her. One head wanted drugs and it yelled and screamed at her until she brought it drugs.  Another head wanted the adrenaline it derived from horror movies and it yelled and screamed until she showed it horror films.  Another head demanded food from the finest restaurants and it yelled and screamed until it was fed.  Once each head’s desires were temporarily fulfilled, they praised the queen and thanked her for her wonderful work in pleasing the monster.  Without realizing it, the queen had now become a slave to the desires of each of the heads.

Each time the queen fed the desire of a head, the head grew bigger.  After weeks of being a slave to the monster, the queen realized how much it had grown.  As the heads grew larger, their desires grew with intensity.

After a while in this sorrowful state, the queen realized that her mind was full of the monster’s screams and threats.  She had no more thoughts of inspiration and creativity.  She was reduced to listening to the deafening shrieks of the monster.  Each head was using the queen’s mind to fulfill its desires.  Without the queen, the monster would not be able to feed its heads, for the monster did not have a mind of its own.  That is why enticing the queen was so important to the monster.  Without her mind, it would have no way of surviving.  But only the monster knew this.  The queen didn’t realize the power she had over the monster because she was so deeply consumed by the sorrow and misery of her relationship with it.  She had forgotten all about the blissful existence of her life with the king.

In effect, the king knew all of what was happening to the queen.  He had no power to force her to come home, but he did have the power to bring her home if only she chose to return.  For many years, the queen had no memory of her beloved king and their life together until one day she awoke from her sleep and remembered who she was.  She saw the unnatural world around her and the false role she was playing as a slave.  She was a queen of nobility.  Once she remembered her true state, she opened her eyes to the misery of being a slave to the monster and decided she wanted to go back home.

With this decision, the queen’s role had changed.  She was no longer a slave.  She was now an awakened player in the game of ignorance and bliss.  But the monster was too cleaver to let her go back home without a fight.  In order to be freed from sorrow, the queen had to stop feeding the monster until it completely died and was no longer the ruler of her mind.  So, she stopped bringing it drugs and horror movies and fine meals.  The monster reacted in fury and yelled and screamed louder then he ever had before.  This was certainly not pleasant for the queen to experience, but she had conviction and her intention was clear.  She was returning to her place of nobility, and nothing was going to distract her from attaining her goal.

Each time the queen starved one of the monster’s heads, she would hear fewer sorrowful voices. Slowly, she began to hear the voice of clarity that she remembered from her times with the king.  The voice of clarity assisted her in the process of eliminating the monster’s heads with tact and wit.  There were moments when after starving one head, two smaller heads were revealed behind it.  This did not discourage the queen because she knew the significance that one fewer head meant.  It meant more peace within and more will to proceed.  Once all of the monster’s heads were starved to death, the monster no longer existed. She returned home where the king and all the abundance and prosperity of the kingdom were awaiting her arrival.  She was no longer a slave to the monster’s heads.  She was free from manipulation and sorrow.  She was back in the clarity of her essence.

Today’s message is one that reflects some of the private conversations that so many of us have had with God. Whether we pray on our knees, talk to ourselves while driving, or cry quietly and simply ask ‘Why?’, today’s message touches on many of the questions that we so often don’t know how to answer, but that seem to come up again and again as we experience humanity.

Some people try to explain that evil does not exist, or that it is merely a psychological factor. But this is not so. The evidence of evil is here in this world. We cannot deny it. If there is no evil, why would Jesus pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”? He is praying plainly that evil does exist.

So the truth is, we do find evil in this world. And where did it come from? God. Evil provides the opportunity for us to recognize and experience goodness. Evil had to be, if there was to be any creation. If you wrote a message with white chalk on a white board, no one would see it. So without the blackboard, the good things in this world wouldn’t be visible. For instance, Judas was Jesus’ best publicity agent. By his evil act, Judas made Christ eternally famous. Jesus knew the role he had to play, and all that was going to happen to him in order that he might demonstrate the love and greatness of God. A villain was necessary to this enactment.

Perfection is not to be found in this world

It’s hard to know where the dividing line is between good and evil. Certainly it is terrible that bacteria kills billions people every hundred years, but think of the chaos of overpopulation. And if everything here were good and perfect, no one would leave this Earth of his or her own accord; no one would want to go back to God. So in a sense, misery is your best friend, because it starts you seeking God. When you begin to see clearly the imperfection of the world, you will begin to seek the perfection of God. The truth is that God is using evil, not to destroy us, but to make us disillusioned with His toys, with the playthings of this world, so that we might see Him.

This is why the Lord Himself permits injustices and evil. But I have said to Him, “Lord, You have always been perfect. How do you know what suffering is? Yet you have put us through these tests; and you had no business doing it. We didn’t ask to be born as mortals and to suffer.” (He doesn’t mind that I argue with him. He is very patient.) The Lord answered, “You don’t have to go on suffering; I have given everyone the free will to choose good instead of evil.”

So evil is the test of God, to see if we will choose Him or His gifts. He created us in His image and gave us the power to choose for ourselves. But we so often don’t use that power consciously. At night, when we leave our bodies during sleep, we all return to our Godlike states. But in the daytime, we become devils – not all of us, but most of us – the unconscious among us. Why not live in tune with God in the daytime, for then we shall know no fear, we shall know no evil. It is easy to say this, but how easy is it to put into practice?

While evil in itself is something we don’t want, yet it is like a poisoned honey, it is palpable, it is tasty. At the table, we are tempted to eat too much, and to eat the wrong things. Then we begin to get fat here and there, just where we don’t want it. In response to our wrong actions, Nature takes revenge and seems to be poking fun at us all the time. It is indeed a funny world! But the results of our wrong actions don’t seem very funny to us! Believe me, I know! This is why many of us quarrel with God and scold Him, “Why have you created all of these terrible temptations that your children succumb to? Why have you made them so pleasurable?” Well, the lesson is simple: the Law of Cause and Effect.

So, since there is no perfection in this world, why continue to seek it here? You may find a little short-lived pleasure, but mostly you will find suffering and injustice. Pain was given to make you know when something is wrong with the body. But when the pain of cancer comes, there is no reason in it. The sufferer has no relief from his pain, and he doesn’t know why he has to suffer. And there are those who need money and can’t get it, and those who don’t need it who easily acquire more. Those who have much want still more; and those who have nothing want just a little, but can’t get even that. Isn’t this true? Why these injustices? Some people are as healthy as can be, and some are always sick. But health or disease doesn’t necessarily determine whether or not you are happy. St. Francis suffered much of the time, yet he was healing the sick and was filled with the joy of God. Suffering has a different meaning for you when you have attained the freedom of God. But you have to attain that freedom first.

We must learn to work without desire, and to live in this world without attachment. As soon as you are caught up in desires and attachments, you will have all the evil that is coming to you. That is why the Gita says “O Arjuna! No (compelling) duty have I to perform! There is naught that I have not acquired! Nothing in the three worlds remains for me to gain! Yet I am consciously present in the performance of all actions.” Those who want to be liberated must do likewise, engaging in service-ful, joyful, and non-attached activity. Most people willingly work hard for money, but they won’t make even a little effort for their salvation. We must work for God. The way to do this is to stop cooperating with evil and to behave as God would have us behave.

We must love one another. Sometimes it is not easy, but to love your enemy means to choose not to become another person’s enemy. By a thought, any one of us could destroy another, but why would we want to? Jesus had that power. When his enemies taunted him to save himself from the cross, he said, “Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then shall the scripture be fulfilled, that thus it must be?” He conquered by love. If the ordinary man is slapped, the great desire is to slap back. Therefore, God does not give His divine power to those who are spiritually weak, because they would misuse it. The desire and the strength to forgive comes from attunement with God.

How few you find in this world who are sincere and who want to be your friend for your sake, and not for something they can take from you. Those sincere souls are most enjoyable. Greater than all riches is true friendship. If you can be a true friend to people, you will find God. If you sincerely love people, you can know them, just as when you look through a clear glass, you can see what is in the glass. But your perception of people is unclear unless you love God, and unless you love others with the love of God.

“I can give my life for a sincere soul”

In this world, we will all eventually learn that we must be fearless, sincere, and surround ourselves not only with those whom we can inspire, but with those who can inspire us as well. When we attain heightened levels of clarity, we can begin to help those who are ‘evil’, but trying to do this when we are not yet strong enough ourselves will weaken us. So many of those who try to reform others become infected with their evil.

If you have a mind that absorbs everything like blotting paper, you must keep that mind free from evil influences. Just as blotter paper that has become snaked with spilled oil will no longer absorb water, so must your mind first be saturated with good until it becomes impervious to evil.

Be strong in your own goodness, and try to be helpful to others. The man who only looks out for himself and his own family won’t find much happiness. If he doesn’t think of anyone else who might be suffering, he denies himself the joy of helping another, so his own cup of satisfaction will remain small.

The Cosmic Motion Picture

There is another angle to duality, or good and evil. If a movie producer made motion pictures only from select angles, and showed them in the film houses morning, noon and night every day, he would soon have to close-up business. He has to produce variety in order to attract people’s attention. The bad man makes the hero look so much better! And we like plots that are filled with action. We don’t mind looking at exciting movies about danger and disaster because we know that they are only movies. I remember one time when I was taken to see a movie in which the hero died; it was such a tragedy! So I stayed and watched the next showed until I saw the hero alive again, then I left the theater.

If you could see what is going on behind the screen of this life, you wouldn’t suffer at all. It is a cosmic motion picture show. This movie that God is projecting on the screen of this Earth has no value once you see what goes on behind the screens. Look at the beam of God’s light that is projecting these scenes onto the screen of life. See the pictures of the whole universe coming from this beam. See beyond the illusion.

Another time, I was sitting in a movie theater watching an exciting drama on the screen. At a certain point, I looked up into the projection booth and saw that the projectionist wasn’t interested in the picture, because he had seen it over and over again. Instead, he was reading a book. The projection machine was doing its job; there was the sound, and the beam of light was casting the realistic pictures onto the screen. And there was the audience, caught up in the drama. I thought, “Lord, You are like this man, sitting here in the booth, absorbed in your own nature of bliss and love and wisdom. Your machine of cosmic law is throwing on the screen of the universe scenes of jealousy, of love, of hatred, of wisdom, but you remain uninvolved in your plays.” From age to age, from civilization to civilization, the same old pictures are shown over and over again, only with different characters playing the parts.

When I took my gaze from the beam of light that was casting the scenes on the screen, I looked at the audience and I saw that they were going through all the emotions of the actors in the movie. They were suffering with the hero and reacting to the evil of the villain. To the audience, it was a tragic experience. To the operator in the projection booth, it was only a picture. And so it is with God. He has created pictures of light and shadows, the hero and the villain, good and evil, and we are the audience and the actors. It is only when we identify with the play that we get in trouble!

Without shadows existing alongside the light, there could be no picture. Evil is the shadow that converts the one beam of God’s light into pictures or forms. Therefore, evil is the shadow of God that makes this play possible. The dark shadows of evil are interspersed with the pure white beam of the virtues of God. He wants you not to take these pictures so seriously. The director of a movie sees the murders and the suffering and the comedy and the drama as a means to create interest for the audience. He stands apart from the play and directs and observes it. God wants us to behave with detachment, realizing we are only actors or observers in His cosmic show.

Though God has everything, it can still be said that he has some desire: He wants to see who will remain un-intimidated by this picture, and who will play his part well and come back to Him. You can’t run away from this universe, but if you act in this play with your thought fixed on God, you will be free.

If you feel like saying to God, “Lord, this is a motion picture to you, but it is terrible to us”, He may reply, “I make you realize it is a dream every night when you go to sleep. You simply forget this in the daytime.”

For him who realizes God, there is no evil

The way to supreme happiness will not be found by the scientists nor the material-minded people alone, but by those who follow the masters who say: “Go back to the booth of the Infinite from which you can see the projection of all these cosmic motion pictures. Then you won’t be troubled about God’s creation, God’s play…”

When you are part of the delusion, you suffer.
When you stand aside and watch it, you cannot suffer.
When you are an observer, you can enjoy this play.

And with that, a little story to end today’s message:

A king fell asleep and dreamed that he was poor. He was crying out in his sleep for just a penny for some food. Finally, the queen woke him and said, “What is the matter with you? Your treasury is full of gold, and yet you are crying for a penny.”

Then the king said, “Oh, how silly of me, I thought I was a beggar and was starving for lack of that penny.”

Such is the delusion of every soul that is dreaming it is a mortal, subject to the nightmarish evils of all kinds of disease, suffering, troubles, and heartbreaks. The only way to escape this nightmare is detaching from the dream images of this world. It is because you have your attention on the illusions that you suffer. If you give your heart to man, or to drink, or to greed, or to drugs, you will suffer. Your heart will be broken. The more you seek peace in God, the more peace will devour your worries and sufferings. Suffering comes when the evils of the world are let in. When we learn to be spiritually tough, we enable ourselves to be filled with joy, and thus, evil-free.

Understanding our minds is essential in order to be able to manifest in our lives. It is the key to becoming conscious co-creators with God. With the Law of Manifestation, we understand that everything is energy. If we understand this natural principle, then we get what we want in our lives by learning to use our precious energy to manifest what we desire by transferring this energy from one reality to another.

We do this with our minds. The mind is a process, not an organ in the body, whereas the brain is the sensitive instrument of the mind. Each of us possess only one mind, but it is important to recognize it as having three main levels, or aspects of itself: the conscious mind, the subconscious mind, and the superconscious mind.

A brief outline of what we have been discussing lately follows as a summary aid which you are welcome to refer back to as you progress in your work on the path:

The Conscious Mind

• Our “reasoning mind”
• Utilized through use of our personal power and will
• Used through physical action
• Programmer of our subconscious mind – we decide what we feed our subconscious by being aware of our thoughts 24 hours a day on a conscious level (by pushing out the negative and reaffirming the positive)
• Called the “captain of our ship”
• Referred to as the “President of our Personality”
• It’s task is to use its power of reasoning and discernment in all that we do
• Also referred to as the “gardener” who plants seeds into the subconscious and whatever is planted is what will grow!

The Subconscious Mind

• Our “non-reasoning mind”
• Operates on a more instinctive level
• Serves as a memory bank for every thought, feeling, habit and desire that we possess
• “As above, so below” – what we think and imagine in our subconscious mind is what we will draw to ourselves in our outer world
• Subconscious mind does whatever it is programmed to do
• Think of it as our “servant” – it will supply us with whatever we need as long as we program it correctly
• Most dreams are created through the subconscious mind
• Our physical body will reflect whatever we put into the subconscious. If we worry about getting an illness, chances are that we will create one through constant thought energy, manifesting in the physical.
• Stores our habits, both good and bad
• Stores our developed abilities (e.g.: how to ride a bike)
• Use of affirmations is critical in forming a positive and strong subconscious mind

The Superconscious Mind

• Our “Spiritual Mind” or “Higher Self”
• Our all-knowing mind
• Allows higher level thinking and knowing
• Is the origin of most creativity
• Attuned to Cosmic Will
• Contacted through meditation, some dreams and intuition
• Brings us inner peace and true joy
• When we focus our energies on loving, generous intentions, our superconscious mind will provide us with the continuous flow of ideas and creative energy to help move us closer to our goals

We must utilize our three mind aspects, working in harmony and in unity with one another if we are to become conscious co-creators with God!

The Filing System

The subconscious mind can be understood as the non-reasoning mind. Rather than using reasoning power as the conscious mind does, the subconscious mind operates at a more basic, instinctive level and also serves as the memory bank that files every thought, feeling, memory, habit pattern, desire and instinct that we posses. Since it works 24 hours a day, storing all that we think and feel, it is a very powerful source of either ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ usage, depending on what we have filed in it. Sometimes when we think we’re using our intuition, we’re actually accessing information already stored in our subconscious mind that we acquired in a previous experience, but intuition actually comes from other sources, one of which is the superconscious mind.

Beginning at our infancy, we have been programmed by our parents, grandparents, peers, teachers and the media. All of these exchanges of information have been stored in our subconscious minds. Little children are all in a sense victims…meaning that their reasoning minds have not developed enough to be able to discriminate and protect them from negative programming. As small children, we were totally open. As a result, our subconscious minds may be filled with mental poisons, faulty thinking and damaging beliefs. Just as the body can be filled with physical toxins from poor eating, the subconscious mind can be filled with mental toxins from both improper programming and education.

The subconscious mind functions according to the Law of Attraction in that it will draw toward it all that resonates at the same level of vibration. Unfortunately, most people are not aware of what their subconscious mind is actually doing. These people are asleep. Most people…are sleep. By using our subconscious mind as a tool of manifestation in our lives, we are in alignment with the saying “As within, so without” or “As above, so below”. That is, what we think and imagine in our subconscious mind will manifest its mirror likeness in our external circumstances and experiences. We must remember, our outer world is simply a reflection of our inner world, for better or worse, because the subconscious mind does whatever it is programmed to do.

The subconscious mind is an amazing paradox. It has no powers of reason on its own, yet it has an incredible number of abilities and intelligence factors. A great illustration for understanding this is the computer analogy. A computer is an astonishing piece of equipment, capable of performing millions of computations per second, yet it doesn’t care whether it is programmed to solve the problem of world hunger or to create a nuclear war. It has the capability to do either job efficiently, but it doesn’t have the reasoning power not to want to create nuclear war. It is this difference between intelligence and reason that we are primarily concerned with. The subconscious mind does whatever it is programmed to do, no matter what! Therefore, is it possible to SEE why our subconscious mind is SO important??!

To manifest effectively, we must learn to be in control of what is fed into our mind at all times. Many times, the subconscious mind runs us instead of the other way around. Ideally, the subconscious is our servant and will supply us with whatever we need as long as we program it correctly.

Mind and Body

The subconscious mind completely operates the physical body. Hypnosis offers some insight into how this works; for example, some post-hypnotic therapy suggestions are being used to control a person’s physiological craving for nicotine and to help change their internal programming for craving cigarettes. Unfortunately, our subconscious mind is as happy damaging the body with harmful toxins as it is creating good health with the proper foods and nutrients. The subconscious mind has the intelligence to create perfect health or create cancer, but it will create whatever it has been programmed to do, there again depending on what we feed it. Certainly no one consciously programs himself to develop cancer, but many people unconsciously program disease into their bodies through self-hatred, victim consciousness, revenge, giving up, or holding on to pain and feelings of unforgiveness. The key, then, is to constantly program the subconscious mind for perfect, radiant health through good thoughts and intentions.

Mindful Dreams

The subconscious mind also helps to create our dreams every night. There are occasions when the superconscious mind creates dreams; however, most dreams originate in the subconscious. A dream is basically a mirror of the way we think, feel and act during our consicous daily life. A dream is like a newspaper we receive every day, depicting the organization and dynamics of our internal energies. Dreams are in the unviersal language of symbols. To understand our dreams, we must first accept that every part of every dream is, in reality, a part of us. By examining the relationship among the symbols, we can gain insight into ourselves and understand how our thought patterns are manifesting themselves in our lives through our actions. It is very beneficial to have a dream journal to record the many messages and stories being told to us through our subconscious minds.

Mind Over Matter

The subconscious mind can also be termed as our ‘habit’ mind, for it stores all of our habits, both the ones we like as well as the ones were fighting to get rid of! A lot of people think habits are bad, but this is not necessarily true. Generally we want to get rid of our bad habits, however ideally we should be creating good habits insead! It is much more productive to work at creating new positive habits than it is to focus our energies on our negative ones. There again, via Spirituality Class 101, what we focus on, grows and persists! Therefore, let’s focus our light and love and energies on creating new, positive, loving statements of who we are!

Mind as Memory

If you and I did not have a subconscious mind to store our developed abilities, every activity that we chose to perform would always take great amounts of focus and concentration. The subconscious mind’s ability to store personal abilities allows us to grow continually and develop new abilities without worrying about managing old ones. For example, remember the time you learned how to drive a car? For many of us, it was in the high school parking lot with our friends, working SO hard at coordinating our senses. Our reputations were at stake as our friends were watching us with eagle eyes, hoping in a way that we could not do it. However, after many attempts, we became conformable drivers. This is an example of how we can learn a procedure and that knowledge is then stored in our subconscious mind.

When we first learn how to do something, it may take a lot of conscious effort and willpower to master. However, after we learn how to deal with the situation, little conscious thought or effort is required after that point. If we didn’t have a subconscious mind to store our developed abilities, every activity would always take great focus and concentration. The subconscious mind’s ability to store habits allows us to grow continually and develop new abilities without worrying about old ones. We can learn something in a day, but there is a basic psychological or metaphysical law that states that it takes 21 days to cement a new habit into the subconscious mind.

Laws and Abilities of the Mind

The subconscious mind is where the Law of Magnetism and the Law of Attraction operate as well. The subconscious mind continually attracts and repels things according to what has been programmed into it. A Master is someone who uses these laws to his own conscious benefit. Let’s take the example of money and prosperity. If we have the subconscious belief that we will never have money, we won’t!! If, on the other hand, we think that we will, the subconscious mind will attract those opportunities and possibilities to us. Whatever we want in life, we have to affirm or visualize this into the subconscious mind, and the subconscious mind will attract it to us!! It must be strssed here that the power of affirmations – when we focus our energies and thoughts and repeatedly declare what and who we are – we are making incredible advances in our evolutionary process.

The subconscious mind is also the seat of our psychic abilities. The subconscious has five inner senses that are the subtler counterparts of our five external senses: inner sight (clairvoyance), inner hearing (clairaudience), inner smell, inner taste and inner touch. Have you ever noticed what when you dream your senses are available to you? How can this be if you are sleeping? This is because you are utilizing your five inner senses of the subconscious mind. All people have psychic abilities and can develop them further. It is just a matter of practice and proper training, as with any external ability.

Remember…

The subconscious mind was never meant to direct our life. It will run us into oblivion if we let it, not because it is bad, but because it has no reasoning powers. For example, our car has a number of computer systems that help to run it more efficiently. However, just because these computer chips can perform these many functions, that doesn’t mean they are capable of diving our cars. In and of itself, the subconscious mind is divine; however why would anyone let a non-reasoing mind run his or her life? Strangely enough though, this is what most people do.

CHAPTER 8: Realisation of The Infinite

Link to chapter: click here
Length of chapter reading: 32:02 minutes

We reach the final chapter of Sadhana this week. I hope the journey has been fulfilling and enriching for you. I thank you for being part of it, and for sharing, whether outwardly or silently, your thoughts throughout the experience. And so it is.

“When you know that whatever there is is filled by Him, and whatever you have is his gift, then you realise the infinite in the finite and the giver in the gifts. Then you know that all the facts of the reality have their only meaning in the manifestation of the one truth, and all your possessions have their only significance for you not in themselves, but in the relation they establish with the infinite.”

Can you bare to lose something precious to you? Does the car that you dreamed of owning for so many years and now finally drive enable you to pursue your soul’s desire or your ego’s demand for material wealth? Are you beautiful because of your clothes, or would you know how to radiate your brilliance in a torn piece of cloth? Do your relationships define you, or are they a way to share freely in the experience of life?

The gifts that we are afforded in this life are tools designed to aid us in the pursuit of the discovery of our Selves. To see them as more then that is to empower them and disempower ourselves. If All the World’s a Stage, do you see the props as being the story, or simply as temporary (finite) tools for the actors who happily surrender them when it is their turn to leave the stage?

“The tragedy of human life consists in our vain attempts to stretch the limits of things which can never become unlimited, to reach the infinite by absurdly adding to the rungs of the ladder of the finite. It is evident from this that the real desire of our soul is to get beyond all possessions. Surrounded by things that she can touch and feel, she cries, “I am weary of getting. Ah, where is he who is never to be got?

“We see everywhere in the history of man the spirit of renunciation is the deepest reality of the human soul. When the soul says of anything, ‘I do not want it for I am above it’, she gives utterance to the highest truth that is in her. When a girl’s life outgrows her dolls, she realises that in every respect, she is more than her doll is. Then she throws it away. By this very act of possession, we know that we are greater than the things we possess.”

Possession is a representation of what we have already attained. It symbolises that which we have already discovered within or about our Selves. That is not to say that the act of having is a result of higher understanding or greater awareness, but rather it can often be a consequence of the misunderstanding of what it means to achieve. In this wonderful world, which is represented on this physical plane, it is no wonder that possession is understood as a symbol of attainment, but it is to confuse attainment with obtaining that creates the mess of chronic consumption and ravenous consumerism. To fill the void within (the still undiscovered Self) with material things is like trying to fill the infinite with the finite.

“In the region of nature, which is the region of diversity, we grow by acquisition. In the spiritual world, which is the region of unity, we grow by losing ourselves by uniting. Gaining a thing, as we have said, is by its nature partial; it is limited only to a particular want. But being is complete. It belongs to our wholeness. It springs not from any necessity, but from our affinity with the infinite, which is the principle of perfection that we have in our soul.”

I have had earth shattering experiences in which the dawning of a greater awareness has felt like the destruction of the world as I know it. Things that I was sure were true and right no longer made sense. My firm beliefs in how I knew the universe to be no longer fit into my understanding.

Imagine for a moment that our spiritual journeys are akin to us building walls. Each brick we acquire along the path we place where we think it best fits as we build our wall higher and wider. Then one day, there is a tremor, or perhaps a full blown earth quake that shakes the foundation upon which we were building our wall. As a result, some bricks shift into different spots, others fall away from the wall and no longer have a place. As we stand back and inspect the state of our wall, we notice that where there were holes, some bricks may have shifted closer together making the wall stronger. In other places, the structure may have completely crumbled to the ground and is no longer necessary. It is the same with new awakenings.

When we reach a point where we see more of the Big Picture, we experience a process of losing a part of ourselves. It is as if we shed a layer of the illusion only to reveal a clearer view of that which is just on the other side of the veil. Through this loss, although it may not feel like it at first, we actually become more complete.

CHAPTER 6: Realisation In Action

Link to chapter: click here
Length of chapter reading: 30:37 minutes

This morning, I saw a man at work. This man was very special. I knew that he had agreed, a long time ago, to meet me in this exact place at this exact time to teach me what I was starting to forget. He sat at his desk, the same small space he fills each day, wearing the same uniform I imagined him preparing each evening for the following day. He worked very quickly, his hands very busy making notes and shuffling papers. Each time a patient approached him, he would look up and, from his serious demeanor, he would shed light on the face looking back at him with a warm and patient smile. He knew that he worked in a place where people were afraid to go. He also knew that he had the power to bring them peace, through his eyes, through his smile, and through the integrity with which he dedicated himself to his work. It is through him that I saw God this morning. It is through his nobility and his grace that I was able to remember myself. It is for this that I am grateful today.

“As some, under the idea that law is the opposite of joy, mistake intoxication for joy, so there are many in our country who imagine action to be the opposite of freedom. They think that activity, being in the material place, is restriction of the free spirit of the soul, but we must remember that as joy expresses itself in law, so the soul finds its freedom in action. It is because joy cannot find expression in itself alone that it desires the law which is outside. Likewise, it is because the soul cannot find freedom within itself that it wants external action. The soul of man is ever-freeing itself from its own folds by its activity. Had it be otherwise, it could not have done any voluntary work. The more man acts and makes actual what is latent in him, the nearer does he bring the event yet to be. In that actualization, man is ever-making himself more and yet more distinct and seeing himself clearly under newer and newer aspects in the midst of his varied activities, in the state, in society. This vision makes for freedom.”

I read something about myself recently that has had an impact upon the way that I identify my ‘character’ is the roles it plays. Because of a number of things, including tools provided to us through astrology (the date and time of my birth) and numerology (my name and the place of my birth), I read that I am destined to have many different jobs in this life. My first thought was one of isolation – with so many different roles, I’ll have to attempt to enter into many different tribes, some that will accept me, and some that won’t. The isolation comes from my perception of my fleetingness, the transitory nature of my journey, going from one place to another, fulfilling my role, and then moving on to where my purpose takes me next.

I have already started to realize this destiny. I have identified the distinct transitions from one role to another and I have begun to understand how to see the beauty and richness in what sometimes feels like quite lonely work. It is actually quite a magical dynamic because in one sense, it is isolating – you sense that the experience will be temporary, yet much important work needs to be done. But during that short period of intense service, intimate connections are made between souls, there is a recognition of the higher essence amongst the souls who are connected through these acts of service.

Why have I written about this self-realisation? Because it is through action within this physical world that I learn such great lessons and experience thoroughly hopeful moments of connection and divine recognition – through others of my Self.

Our journey is not one of systematic predictability. We are not meant to follow the path discovered by out neighbor because we know where it will lead. Our journeys are of a much greater purpose. By having the courage to follow a path that we create with each choice we make, we learn who we are. We get to know our Selves. We rediscover the consciousness that we were when we were planning this life; the consciousness that we are underneath the physical vehicle; the consciousness that is in each breath we take. Action is the process through which to rediscover our Selves. And when we rediscover the truth about our Selves, there is no more a need for fear. That is where freedom comes in.

“…the ideas in our minds are constantly seeking opportunities to take on outward form…”

Action is also the greatest desire of our thoughts, but not in the way that many people think. Thoughts are living beings. We can create thoughts. We feed them into life. When a thought ‘comes into’ your mind, it is literally a foreign entity seeking a source of life. If you choose to invest energy into contemplating the thought, repeatedly going back in your mind and thinking about the thought, expanding on it and playing with what it would look like, it beings to grow. The more you invest in feeding it with energy, the more it acquires a life of its own, until one day, it has the power to physically manifest. This is a very powerful area of esoterica. If you are interested in learning more about it, perhaps you would enjoy The Magus of Strovolos by Kyriacos C. Markides.

“The Upanishad says, ‘In the midst of activity alone wilt thou desire to live a hundred years‘. It is the saying of those who have amply tasted of the joy of the soul. Those who have fully realized the soul have never talked in mournful accents of the sorrowfulness of life, or of the bondage of action. They are not like weakling flowers who’s stem-hold is so light that it drops away before attaining fruition. They hold onto life with all their might, and say, ‘Never will we let go ’til the fruit is ripe!’ They desire in their joy to express themselves strenuously in their life and in their work. Pain and sorrow dismay them not. They are not bowed down to the dust by the weight of their own heart. With the erect head of the victorious hero, they march through life seeing themselves and showing themselves in increasing resplendence of soul through both joys and sorrows. The joy of their life keeps step with the joy of that energy which is playing at building and breaking throughout the universe.”

Some of us will receive the gift of coming face to face with one of these joyous souls that live each moment so nobly and to such a full extent that we forget maya’s hold on us and realise the true opportunity we have been given in this life. It is so easy, so very easy to dwell in the sorrow, and the pain, and the misfortune, and the unfairness of this world. These are tools that are meant to confuse us and to distract us from our true power and our true purpose.

I don’t have an inspirational story to share with this quote, but rather one of shame. For you see, I have been caught up in the throws of maya lately, forgetting all about the beauty and glory of this life, and dwelling instead on the suffering. I have forgotten, until now, as I listened to Tagore’s reminder, that there are SO MANY souls waiting in line just to be chosen to come into embodiment. “Why?” you may ask. Well, it simple. ‘Up there’, we prepare. We study, and reflect, and we get ready for the moment when we will be able to come back into this, or a similar world and apply our new knowledge so that we can discover a little bit more about your true Selves. It is through experiences that we create together here that we can get closer to our true Selves. Some of us have seemingly charmed lives, and others suffer the pain that only heroes could endure. It is not for us to judge why. It is not for us to even question whether we are worthy, for that has been decided long ago. All that is left for us to do is to make each moment count. There is joy in every moment. Find it and you will remember why you are here.

“He who thinks to reach God by running away from the world, when and where does he expect to meet Him? How far can he fly? Can he fly and fly and fly until he flies into nothingness itself? No, the coward who would fly can no where find Him. We must be brave enough to say, “We are reaching Him here, in this very spot, now, at this very moment. We must be able to assure ourselves that, as in our actions we are realizing our Selves, so in our Selves we are realizing him who is the SELF of Self. We must earn the right to say so unhesitatingly by clearing away, with our own effort, all obstruction, all disorder, all discords from our path of activity. We must be able to say, “In my work is my joy, and in that joy does the joy of my joy abide.”

Hahaha! This made me laugh. If I had a nickel for all the times I would have wanted to avoid the physical world and escape into the comforts of the metaphysical, I would certainly get a few free coffees by now! It is very tempting not to want to do ‘the work’ and to call our avoidance an act of purification or, alternatively, a quest for pleasure. I’ve heard both arguments, and they’re both equally colorful!

I don’t think ‘killing time’ is a sin if, by this, you mean spending time doing something that is fun, without stress and brimming with pleasurable. It is, however, a great loss if, by ‘killing time’, you are attempting to numb the pain of a life devoid of inspiration and passion. The work of Sir Ken Robinson is certainly a testament to the power of following your passion. His latest book entitled The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything, will help many people awaken to this truth. Makes you wonder, once our work truly becomes a manifestation of our passions, what are we going to do with all our days off?! Haha!

CHAPTER 5: Realisation In Love

Link to chapter: click here
Length of chapter reading: 42:28 minutes

Duality is not an expression of separation. It is an invitation to embody unconditional love and acceptance for all, no matter whether our minds can make sense of it, no matter whether our beliefs are in line with it, no matter whether our desires are fulfilled by it. Duality is the ultimate union of opposites representing the possibility of wholeness disguised in contradiction. When there is little evidence, where we do not believe that there is enough proof, we can ask ourselves what we do have. This is when we open ourselves to the realisation that through free will, we have the power to choose to see things differently.

“In learning a language, when from mere words we reach the laws of words, we have gained a great deal. But if we stop at that point and concern ourselves only with the marvels of the formation of a language, seeking the hidden reason of all its apparent caprices, we do not reach that end, for grammar is not literature; prosity is not a poem. When we come to literature, we find that, though it conforms to the rules of grammar, it is yet a thing of joy; it is freedom itself. The beauty of a poem is bound by strict laws, yet it transcends them. The laws are its wings. They do not keep it weighed down. They carry it to freedom. Its form is in law, but its spirit is in beauty. Law is the first step toward freedom, and beauty is the complete liberation which stands on the pedestal of law. Beauty harmonises in itself the limit and the beyond – the law and the liberty.”

Why is it that so often, we reach ‘a’ point and conclude that we have reached the final step in our journey?

“I have found love! My search is over.”
“I have completed a degree. I no longer have to be a student.”

As with the learning of a language, there are many facets to our understanding. We eventually discover that the more we know, the less we understand. The complexity of the universal truth is so intricate and vast that we can easily become entangled in its details. The human mind was not made to grasp all the facts, calculate all the figures and make sense of all the outcomes. It is in the simplicity where we can truly make sense of all in our lives. It is in the silence where we can truly find clarity. If we relate this to the learning of a language, it is when we transcend the words of a poem and feel the essence of the poet that we have come to a point of greater understanding.

“If we happen to be awake then, we question him.”

If we happen to be awake…

“The question is, in what manner do we accept this world, which is a perfect gift of joy? Have we been able to receive it in our heart, where we keep enshrined things that are of deathless value to us? We are frantically busy making use of the forces of the Universe to gain more and more power. We feed and we cloth ourselves from its stores. We scramble for its riches and it becomes for us a field of fierce competition. But were we born for this?
To extend our proprietary rights over this world and make of it a marketable commodity? When our whole mind is spent only upon making use of this world, it looses for us its true value. We make is cheap by our sordid desires, and thus, to the end of our days, we only try to feed upon it, and miss its truth. Just like the greedy child who tears the leaves from a precious book and tries to swallow them.”

Where do you see yourself fitting in the picture Tagore paints in the words above? I used to be one of the frantic. There was a time when I was watching others trying to swallow the leaves and wondering if I should join in. But for some reason, I don’t see a place to fit in anymore. I am disconnected from the traffic, unplugged from much of the noise, and find myself wondering…where do I fit in? Do I try to change the world? Do I try to remind people what they seem to have forgotten? Or do I disconnect even further and ignore the pain and the chaos?

I don’t mean to sound self-righteous at all here. I am sorry if I appear to be. In truth, I feel like an alien, living amongst a people with whom I don’t know how to relate. When I am in the company of others, I often seem to say things that silence the room, but I don’t know what that means. When I am physically alone, I find myself able to reach such heights of mental expansion and seem to be able to best translate and share those moments through technology. I heard somewhere recently that the longer we spend disassociated with the rest, the more others seem unrecognisable. Is my experience a product of the times or a consequence of something else?

“…we can never have a true view of man unless we have a love for him… Man foolishly tries to prove his superiority by imagining his radical separateness from what he calls his physical world, which in his blind fanaticism, he sometimes goes to the extent of ignoring all together, holding it as his direst enemy. Yet the more his knowledge progresses, the more it becomes difficult for man to establish this separateness and all the imaginary boundaries he had setup around himself vanish, one after the other. Every time we loose some of our badges of absolute distinction by which we conferred upon humanity the right to hold itself apart from its surroundings, it gives us a shock of humiliation. But we have to submit to this if we setup our pride on the path of self-realisation to create divisions and disunion, then it must sooner or later come under the wheels of truth and be ground to dust.”

But what if I understand a tree better then I understand man? Or perhaps I should ask why I feel more comfortable with it. And then I’m reminded that when we ask ‘why’, we do not truly see the picture in front of us. So I try to step back to see a bit more of this picture, and then I meet the hermit that resides within. The part of me that identifies more with that which is unseen, with that which is unspoken by most.

In all my wondering and trying to relate, I have realised that this physical world inevitably requires action. Building up the courage to act is a process of facing ones fears, seeing them for the self-imposed illusions that they are, and detaching from that which sells the sense of separateness. “…we can never have a true view of man unless we have a love for him…” And here I am drawn back to myself. Do I love myself? How can I realise the true view of man if I do not see it in myself first?

In celebration of spring, you are warmly invited to come join in the reflection of the Spirit. This time of rebirth and new awakenings is a perfect opportunity to widen our eyes and open ourselves to seeing more of our Selves. For the next 8 weeks, we will embark on the Literary Exploration of Sadhana, the Realisation of Life by Rabindranath Tagore. Every week, you are most welcome to share your reflection of each of the 8 chapters of this illuminating tome.

The Literary Exploration Series is an opportunity to delve into the world of an author who had the courage to explore the esoteric and share his or her experiences with the world. The first book in this series is entitled Sadhana, the Realisation of Life, first published in English in 1913. Rabindranath Tagore, Asia’s first Nobel laureate, wrote this collection of stories that, as I understand them, aim to demystify the relation of the individual to the universe. They speak of soul consciousness, the ego, love, beauty, and that which has no beginning nor end.

If you would like to read more about the author prior to beginning this audiobook exercise, you are most welcome to begin your introduction to Rabindranath Tagore here. You can also find links to each of the 8 chapters of Sadhana, the Realisation of Life here. Every week for the next 8 weeks, we will reflect upon a single chapter until we reach the end of this literary exploration. You are welcome to join in at any time, and are warmly invited to write about your reflections here by commenting on the weekly posts.

During this first week, we will be reflecting upon Chapter 1: The Relation of the Individual to the Universe.  You may wish to listen to the chapter in full before reading the following reflection, or you might prefer reading the comments below prior to listening to it for yourself. The choice is yours.

Chapter 1: The Relation of the Individual to the Universe

Link to chapter: click here
Length of chapter reading: 38:06 minutes

A beautiful experience – and by that, I suppose I mean the experience of listening to Rabindranath Tagore’s The Relation of the Individual to the Universe, as well as the actual experience of realising life. Although I am not certain the extent to which I have realised my own life, I have to believe that this book comes to those who are ready to reflect upon the process. And, to reflect upon this grand theme of existence, I suppose that one would have had to have already recognised it at some point.

“…for we can never make anything truly our own except that which it truly related to us.”

If it is already related to us, then making something our own is simply the process of recognising a part of ourselves that was there all along.

“We can look upon a road from two different points of view. One regards it as dividing us from the object of our desire. In that case we count every step of our journey over it as something obtained by force in the face of obstruction. The other sees it as the road which leads us to our destination, and as such, it is part of our goal. It is already the beginning of our attainment, and by journeying over it, we can only gain that which within itself it offers to us.”

The way I see it, the first point of view is the definition of effort – fighting against obstruction. The second is the process of going with the flow.

“The man of science knows in one aspect that the world is not merely what it appears to be to our senses. He knows that earth and water are really the play of forces that manifest themselves to us as earth and water. … Likewise, the man who has his spiritual eyes open knows that the ultimate truth about earth and water lies in our apprehension of the eternal will which works in time and takes shape in the forces we realise under those aspects.”

An example of how perception has the power to divide, in this case, the worlds of science and spirituality.

“In art, we strive for originality and lose sight of truth which is old and yet ever new. In literature, we miss the complete view of man which is simple and yet great but he appears as a psychological problem or the embodiment of a passion that is intense because abnormal and because exhibits in the glare of a fiercely emphatic light, which is artificial.”

It is simple to underestimate simplicity.

“Where man tries to push himself to eminence by pushing and jostling others, to achieve a distinction by which he prides himself to be more than everybody else, there he is alienated from that spirit. … in the pursuit of wealth, you really give up everything to gain a few things…”

It is not ‘lonely on the top’ because no one else is good enough to be there with you. It is lonely because on your perceived climb up the ladder, you have forgotten who you are and how to connect to the essence of your Being. We are only alone when we forget that we have our Selves, and within our Selves is the Oneness of All.

“We are immersed in His consciousness – body and soul. It is through His consciousness that the Sun attracts the Earth. It is through His consciousness that the light waves are being transmitted from planet to planet. Not only in space, but this light and life, this All-feeling Being, is in our souls. He is all-conscious in space (or the world of extension), and He is all-conscious in soul (or the world of intention).

“Thus, to attain our World Consciousness, we have to unite our feeling with this all-pervasive infinite feeling. In fact, the only true human progress is coincident with this widening of the range of feeling. All our poetry, philosophy, science, art and religion are serving to extend the scope of our consciousness towards higher and larger spheres. Man does not acquire rights through the occupation of larger space nor through external contact, but his rights extend only so far as he is real, and his reality is measured by the scope of his consciousness. We have, however, to pay a price for this attainment of the freedom of consciousness. What is the price? It is to give one’s ‘self’ away. Our soul can realise its ‘Self’ truly only by denying its ‘self’.”

Poetry, philosophy, science, art and religion are all mechanisms through which we are invited to expand our awareness – to open our Eyes and see more of that which is hidden from the physical eyes. It is like the proverbial buffet table:

“Treat these words as various dishes laid out on a buffet table. Pick and choose what looks and tastes good to you. It is for you to decide what food agrees with your digestive system. None of this is for your acceptance or rejection. None of us get brownie points for what we believe to be true; only for what we apply.”

Devotion to one religion, admiration for one poet, appreciation of one artist or one school of scientific thought is constructive if we realise these beliefs for the duration that they benefit us and are willing to eventually let them go for new realisations. It is attachment to any one philosophy, to any one belief or perspective that is futile to the development of our World Consciousness.

“Compared to his ego, the rest of the world is unreal, thus in order to be fully conscious of the reality of All, one has to be free himself from the bonds of personal desires. This discipline, we have to go through to prepare ourselves for our social duties, for sharing the burdens of our fellow beings. Every endeavor to attain a larger life requires of man to gain by giving away and not to be greedy and thus, to expand gradually the consciousness of one’s unity with All, is the striving of humanity.”

Knowledge only becomes power when it is shared. I must be humbly honest with you that I do not know why I am writing this blog, where it will lead me, or what I am supposed to do with it next. But, what I do know, unequivocally, is that we are all meant to share with one another. It is not to teach, to preach nor to dictate that I write these words. It is to serve. It is to enable the sharing of experiences, of perceptions and of stories in order to broaden the collective perspective.

He was tired. Smearing a mosquito across his cheek, he clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes. The evening fog was becoming dense, eating away at his ripped clothes and seeping into his bones. Twigs cracked under his thick rubber soles as he dragged himself through the labyrinth of the forest. He was told there would be a clearing soon. He was told he would find his answer in the clearing.

Before nightfall, he arrived at an open field. At the far end of the field was a small cabin. There was a torn piece of soggy cardboard propped up on the porch with the words ‘Help Wanted’ scratched into it with thick red marker. Inside the cabin, there was a round pink man sitting behind a desk that seemed too small for his demeanor. His thick spectacles were propped up on the tip of his nose. He folded his newspaper as the screen door to his office creaked open.

“I would like to work for you in exchange for money that I can use to buy food and shelter,” said the traveler as he approached the man behind the desk.

With an almost imperceptible nod, the man agreed to employ the traveler. “Come back tomorrow morning and I will tell you what work you will do for me.” The traveler agreed to return the next day.

In the morning, the man behind the desk gave the traveler an axe. “Your job will be to cut down trees in the forest around my cabin. You will be paid for each tree you cut down.”

The traveler was very excited. He agreed and promised that each day he would cut down more trees then the day before.

At the end of the first day, the traveler cut down 20 trees. He was very proud of himself. On the second day, the traveler worked twice as hard but only cut down 15 trees. He thought that it must have been because he was still getting into the habit of cutting down trees, so he decided not to be too hard on himself and come back the next day fresh and ready to achieve his original goal.

On the third day, the traveler worked harder then he had on the first two days combined but he only ended up cutting down 12 trees. He was feeling discouraged and frustrated. He went to the cabin and approached the man behind the desk. He told his employer about his experience and asked for advice.

The man behind the desk folded his newspaper, peered at the traveler from above the thick red rim of his glasses and asked, “In all this time that you have been working yourself to the bone trying to cut down more trees each day, have you taken the time to sharpen your axe?”

“No. I didn’t think there was time to waste,” grumbled the traveler.

“There is no time to waste. All we have in the light of the sun and the cool of the breeze are the tools we are given to assist us in our work. Time will not help you cut down a tree. It will not make you stronger, nor will it lift the weight off your shoulders when you are tired. All we have are the tools we are given.”

With that, the man behind the desk unfolded his paper and continued reading.

Reluctantly, the traveler left the cabin and returned to the woods. Before cutting down any more trees, he sharpened his axe. That day, he cut down 23 trees. Each morning, before he began cutting, he checked to make sure his axe was sharp enough for the work he needed it to do, and each day he cut down more trees then the day before.

Heaving, dripping, panting, gasping, I’m on the elliptical machine at the gym and for a change of pace I’m reading a magazine instead of blazing my iTunes Music Store purchases through my brain – all in a conscious effort to become unconscious of the fact that I’m on an elliptical machine. (Ok, it wasn’t that bad, but I was pushing for an hour of cardio after a Christmas break free from all things gym-related!) In just so happens that I’m reading O Magazine because my mom brought it for me when she came to visit with my dad for Christmas. This happens to be the issue where Oprah is on the cover (in her purple ensemble) facing herself (in her white ensemble) and asking herself, ‘what went wrong?’.

I had one of those ‘Aha’ moments as I was reading Dr. Phil’s advice column (p.52 of the January 2009 issue). He was writing about the concept of you getting in the way of your own success, and the statement that slapped me in the face like a cold fish was, “Your fear is disrupting the flow of your life”. Being in the flow is REALLY important to me because ever since I got a taste of how it feels to be in the flow, being out of the flow just feels sooo bad. Pain, suffering, confusion, identification with the body – all those things start creeping up when I start resisting.

The reason this statement is affecting me so much is because I think that my resisting the organic flow of my life recently prevented me from getting a job interview for a position that I think I really would have loved.

To make a long story short (which doesn’t say much for the writer in me!), I just moved to the States from the UK. When I was living in the UK, the iPhone was released in the States. I’m a huge Apple fan. Couple that with the fact that I haven’t had a good relationship with my cell phones in the past and you have a fruity fanatic with an insatiable urge for a new apple. I was really looking forward to getting an iPhone. I had so many beautiful plans for our future! We were going to be so happy together. Then this little thing called ‘credit history’ enters the scene and my dreams go poof. That’s ok though, I thought to myself, because all I have to do is to go to AT&T every week in the hopes that my credit goes up enough for them to know that me and my iPhone are meant to be. Didn’t realize, of course, that the more often they check credit, the worse it gets. (Believe it or not, not every place runs on American rules!)

Anyway, I was so resentful to the fact that I was being made to wait for the cell phone that I decided simply not to get any phone at all (and definitely NOT an archaic land line) and just rely on Skype to talk with family and friends in the meantime. I also had an old cell phone with a US number that got hardly any reception in my new apartment, but that’s the number I gave whenever I had to give a contact number. Like for example, on my resume…

I wasn’t sure where I was going or what my next big step would be, so I decided to plant a few seeds, one of them being to take a quick look on Monster for any jobs that caught my eye. I saw a job for a Learning Manager at Weight Watchers and applied. I didn’t give it much more thought until I got a call from their recruiter the day after who wanted to have an impromptu telephone interview with me then and there. I was fine with that – a little pressure is fun The thing is, as I was trying to understand what she was saying, I was running around the apartment (hoping she didn’t hear that I was panting) desperately seeking a spot where I could get at least ONE BAR of service! Needless to say, after 3 dropped calls, her patience was exhausted. I eventually got her direct line and left a voicemail (while standing outside where there is better reception) but she had already moved on I guess because I never heard from her or that opportunity again. The worst part is that the last thing I heard her say way, “Well, it sounds like you’re perfect for the job!”

Without boring you too much, it’s important for me to say that Weight Watchers has been a saving grace in my life 3 times. It changed my life and has empowered me to learn how to develop a healthy relationship with food. That’s why this job would have been amazing. I would have been given an opportunity to be in a position to teach and inspire others…and that’s sort of what I’m about. Anyway…

The point here is that perhaps if I hadn’t let my ego drive me into a crazed frenzy to settle for nothing less than an iPhone, perhaps I would have had that impromptu interview on a land line and this story could have gone very differently.

Fear is the way the ego controls us. Did I disrupt my own flow? The more I think about it, the more I think I did… Being in the flow means surrendering. When we insist on thinking that we know best, we are no longer in the flow because we’re allowing our ego to guide us. The lesson I take from this experience is that surrender trumps desire – everytime! Oh, and also that patience is indeed a virtue! I’m also learning to happy with what I have – even if it is a landline