Attachment

20090113 PostWhat is attachment?

To be attached to something is to be unable to let go of a belief. To be unable to let go of a belief is to create a limitation for ourselves. A limitation does not allow us to progress. It does not allow us to expand our thoughts, develop our feelings, and essentially, stops our journey of experiencing life. Every time we create an attachment, we take a step back on our journey through life, and every time we return to the ‘comfort’ that we have convinced ourselves the attachment brings, we take yet another step back. To experience life, not just to ‘know’ of life, but to experience life in this physical dimension, we must choose to continually take steps forward. The difficulty is that each new step is a step on new ground. New ground is unexplored unknown. Growth through experience means taking new steps and placing our feet on new ground, regardless of how afraid we have convinced ourselves to be.

Why do we have attachments?

They make us feel artificially safe. We surround ourselves with attachments to create a world where we feel secure, where we see the predictability of what will happen when we turn to our attachment. We convince ourselves that routines are positive things. We are told that routines, or in other words, processes that we continually repeat (or…PATTERNS!), allow us to limit, or one day ‘maybe’ even eliminate the possibility of making a mistake. We are taught practice makes perfect.

So, we attach ourselves to processes that we have dared to try at one point, and after seeing that things worked out, and probably believing that it was luck that made it work out and not us who did it all by ourselves, we continue repeating the process. There is a sense of addiction in the success that we reap from attachments. But before you get too comfortable with this ‘success’, tell me what is wrong with making a mistake in the first place?

A mistake is just as much an experience in life as a success. Who is to say that mistakes aren’t successful? We are here to experience. We are not here to experience the good, and then go home. We are here to experience the all. Are you not perfect? Are you not whole and complete? Are you not a direct manifestation of all the power that exists? Why are you limiting your experiences out of a sense of artificial fear that you have convinced yourself exists in the unknown? What is the unknown? Who is to say that the unknown is bad? What is bad, and what is good in the first place? You owe it to yourself to do Your ALL in this lifetime. If you choose to hide from that which is not familiar, you have stopped living.

There is a different side of this story as well. Sometimes attachments do not bring ‘success’ and pleasure. Sometimes, people grow attached to beliefs that make them miserable. Why would anyone want to be miserable? They may believe that they deserve to be miserable. Attachments that result in suffering are created as a form of self-deprivation, or in other words, as a punishment that we think we deserve.

Why do some people think they deserve to be punished? Because they have stopped loving themselves. They have stopped seeing the beauty and magnificence of the loving being that they are. They have forgotten that the person they are in this life is not a clear and full representation of who they are  and of what they represent. That which they represent is pure love, is pure acceptance – the two are synonymous, but the attached person has forgotten about this. The attached person believes that they are not worthy of their own love. This is when attachments develop.

What are we attached to?

It is easy to say that someone is attached to his mother or her sister. How many people do you know who are attached to money? What seems on the surface as an attachment to an object, to a process, to a physical or intangible thing, is really an attachment to a belief. Beliefs make us feel certain ways. Beliefs create artificial security that motivates an attachment. If you say you are attached to your mother, could it be that you are really attached to the belief that only responsible, good and polite daughters take care of their mothers in old age? Could it be that you have chosen to punish yourself for your successes because your family wasn’t as strong as you and you failed to help them to change and to be stronger, so instead you started punishing yourself for being the strong and limitless person you are?

Could it be that your attachment is a manifestation of a belief of which you convinced yourself decades ago: that being strong and loving of yourself should be punished, and being weak and refusing to take responsibility for your own life should be praised and rewarded? Could it be true that you don’t love yourself enough, that you don’t appreciate the gifts that you chose for yourself to be an independent, free spirit that does not NEED to be attached to any belief? The moment you understand your true potential, the second you begin to love yourself again and to appreciate the radiant spirit that you are, is the instant when you begin to fully experience life again.

I say again because there was a time when you chose not to accept your strengths as weaknesses. There was a beautiful time when you were totally unconditional love and free of judgement. There was a time when you loved yourself enough to know that you could do anything. Go back to the point when you gave up hope and love for yourself. Go back to the painful and wonderful moment when you started punishing yourself and feeling the need to attach. Go back to the person who you are still punishing and free the limiting belief structures that have trapped you for so long. Let that person free and you will feel your lungs fill with fresh air for the first time in years. Release all limits and you will again be able to manifest your dreams into reality.

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